This is how you begin a novel
“Many years ago there lived a man called Laurdis Madsen, who went up to Heaven and came down again, thanks to his boots. “He didn’t soar as high as the mast on a full-rigged ship; in fact he got no farther than the main. Once up there, he stood outside the pearly gates and saw Saint Peter-though the guardian of the gateway to the Hereafter merely flashed his bare ass at him. “Laurids Madsen...